Take It From the Top

So I know I haven't been here is a while, but there has been a lot of stuff going on with me lately.  Let's just start from the top I guess...

So I was pretty depressed after I had Melanie. I would cry at the drop of a hat, didn't want to do anything that I usually found pleasure in, the days would just drag etc... I went to the dr (let's call him Dr. D as in Dr. douche bag)  and he referred me to mental health so I went and talked to a therapist. The therapist and Dr. D talked and so now I have been on zoloft since November. Well, I don't cry all the time and mope around anymore, but I still don't feel normal.  I snap at Liam all the time, I have ZERO patience, things like that.  Probably all just side effects of the zoloft. 

Then about 3 months ago I started having these panic or anxiety attacks (as Dr. D diagnosed them) almost daily. When I told Dr. D about them I really felt he dismissed it and just upped my zoloft.  What these attacks feel like is a wave of almost like a deja vu feeling, and then my head gets a little spinny and I have this a scene plays out in it, almost like it's something I dreamed before or have seen before and I can't shake the scene out or think of anything else. It consume all thought I have. Then it feels like someone is putting pressure on my chest like pushing on it a little and I feel nauseous. I can be sitting there doing nothing when it hits, or in spin class, or just woke up and still laying in bed, or changing the baby. I never know what triggers it, and I can never remember the "scene" that I was seeing after its over. That part lasts maybe 3 minutes. Then I just feel sick to my stomach for about an hour.   It is very hard to describe and this probably isn't explaining it well.  Dr D. recently prescribed me klonopin to take when I "feel an attack coming." I told him I don't feel anything until it's happening and he basically told me to humor him. WTH kind of answer is that?

So on top of that, I have had this pain at the base of my skull and the back of my neck and it feels like there is a hard lump on one side and Dr. D says its nothing. but he humored me and ordered an xray for it which as I suspected did not show a thing.  The pan is so bad sometimes it makes me sick and all I can do is lay on the couch.  I don't want to raise my children from a couch! 

Then there is the weight thing. Did I mention the 4 lbs I lost was a fluke??? Yeah it must have been water weight lost or something because the next day I was back to normal 194. I go from 192-194 and that's all it varies. There is absolutely no reason with as hard as I work out and watch what I eat that I can't lose A SINGLE pound. Its ridiculous! I had my thyroid checked a few months ago, but apparently that was normal. 

You want to know what Dr. D says is wrong with me?  The root cause of ALL my problems???  STRESS.  That's it.  I'm just stressed.  Dr. D wants to give me a psych referral.  Whatever...  I understand that all of those things could be stress related, but I really think the not losing weight is causing stress, not caused by it.  I am not above seeing a psychiatrist. I have no problem with that. I just think that he is dismissing me too easily. I don't FEEL like its a stress thing.  I feel like something is medically/physically wrong, not mentally.  I deal with stress pretty well, and honestly apart from the whole post partum depression, I really don't feel extremely stressed or over worked or over stimulated or anything. I JUST DON'T FEEL STRESSED, and that's what he is not getting.  I feel like he is dismissing me and my concerns.  Just because I have a full time job, my husband is deployed and I have two kids does not automatically make me stressed.  I have done this 3 other times.  longer and longer each time, one other time with a kid.  Trust me, I am an expert...  If I actually felt stressed, I would buy what he's trying to sell me.  But since I don't, I really think there is something else wrong. I really think he just doesn't want to do his job.


So after the x-ray and klonopin visit I decided to get a second opinion.  My new dr is great!  Lets call him Dr B, as in Dr. Best!  Before my visit with Dr. B his nurse called.  She asked me some questions about what has been going on and one of the questions was has anyone ever witnessed one of my "panic/anxiety" attacks.  The answer at that time was only Liam, but I really don't think he would have been able to tell her what was going on.   Then she asked me if I had ever had a seizure before, because that is what they almost sounded like to her.  She ordered some lab work for some routine stuff, liver, kidney, glucose, etc...  All of that came back normal.  Before I went to my appointment with Dr. B I had an "episode" at work.  We were all standing around talking to the commander who came to the shop to visit.  I was standing at parade rest listening to my boss talk when it hit me.  Afterward, my boss said I was standing there with a blank look on my face, my arms dropped to my side, and I looked like I was sort of spacing out.  I told him I was having one of my "episodes."  He said I was starring at him and he thought maybe he was forgetting something to tell the commander, lol...  So I told Dr. B what my boss said.  He agrees with  the nurse, sounds like a partial/simple seizure.  He put in a consult for Neuro for that, and ordered an MRI for my neck.  One visit and Dr. B is making things happen! 

There wasn't much by way of meds I could take while breastfeeding so I ended up stopping at the beginning of the month.  Melanie took the adjustment well.  We just depleted our frozen supply of breast milk yesterday, so now she will be all formula all the time. 


I am also weaning off the zoloft over the next few weeks.  That is my choice, I really feel like I don't need it anymore.  There is more going on but right now, I just want to focus on those two main things.  My MRI is next Friday and my Neuro appointment is April 19th.  I will keep everyone posted.

Letting It All Hang Out

***Ok I am going for it.  This was the blog I wasn't sure I was ready to post.  I wrote it about 3 weeks ago.  I'm just going to do it and get over it, lol...***


Well, I read on some website while looking up some good lowfat/dieting recipes that blogging about your weight loss journey helps hold you accountable.  After much thought and deliberation (and talking myself into it) I have decided that I am going to try to do just that.  It's not going to be easy.  Personally, I find my weight embarrassing.  I realize I didn't exactly become this size from sitting on the couch shoveling food into my mouth.  And it is not like I sit around on my butt all day everyday doing nothing.  I am pretty active.  But regardless of how I gained the weight, and how lazy or not lazy I am, my weight is still something I am embarrassed to admit.   

I will be the first to admit I LOVE FOOD!  Probably a lot more than most people.  It doesn't matter what kind it is; American, Greek, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, you name it, I probably love it.  (Except seafood.  GROSS!)  I will also admit that I make excuses for myself when I eat things that aren't exactly good for me.  I tell myself things like, 'This will be the last time I grab fast food for at least a month.'  Or 'I've had a hard day.  One candy bar won't hurt.'  So I add those extra calories on myself.  Once I get down to my goal weight, those things will be a little more ok as long as I stay at least as active as I am now.  But until I get there, I know I need to cut them out.  But it is hard.  We have all been there.  We all know McDonald's doesn't require you to cook after you just worked a 10+ hour long day and your kid has swim lessons and you are either too exhausted too cook, or in a time crunch.  We all know grabbing that candy bar or chips out of the vending machine is convenient if you forgot to pack a snack.

I have gotten good about packing my lunch and snacks for work over this past week.  That way if I don't have time to come home, I don't feel forced to run to Taco Bell on base real quick for lunch and hurry back.  And if I have a healthier alternative to a snack, I won't grab a candy bar or cookies or something from the snack fund.  It worked pretty well for me last week.  If I keep that going it will be a step in the right direction.

My next obstacle is the burning of the calories part.  I HATE WORKING OUT!  Unfortunately, (or fortunately; depending on how you look at it)  being in shape is part of my job.  Round and lumpy is a shape!  Right there between oval and rectangle I swear!  At a minimum we do PT 3 days a week with our squadron, 45-60 minutes.  They aren't hard workouts usually.  But I hate running.  That probably has something to do with being fat though.  Fat people have a hard time running; it's a lot of mass to move at a quick speed!  All joking aside (for half a second at least) working out is boring to me.  It is something I force myself to do and just suffer through.  Honestly, I am not that out of shape; I am pretty fit because I am pretty active.  I am just over weight.  These past two weeks haven't been so bad because I have had a workout buddy to motivate me.  So I think if we stick with each other, we can both do this.

Another obstacle I have to face is my ongoing shoulder problems.  I can not do a push up with it.  Although that may get easier as I get lighter.  I can't do much weight lifting with it.  This has been a problem since high school.  I had surgery in 2005, and it felt great for about a year, then it was back to it's old self again.  Then, when I was pregnant with Melanie I developed sacroiliac joint pain.  This is the harder of the two pains to push through since it radiates through must of my body when it flares up.  And the pain lasts for days.  So if am continuously working out daily, it never really goes away.   Heat barely helps, ice does nothing but make my butt cold.  Motrin; what a joke.  I try to push through what I can, but sometimes I just say screw it.  That is another problem.  I think I just need to find a balance, or an activity that doesn't aggravate it as much.  Bearable pain I think is what my physical therapist said.  She also said that it may get better when I get down to my ideal body weight because it will be less stress on my joint with less weight.

My exercise plan is as follows:
MON: Squadron PT in the AM, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred in the afternoon
TUES: Squadron PT in the AM, Jillian in the afternoon
WED:  Spin Class at lunch, Jillian in the afternoon
THURS:  Squadron PT in the AM, Jillian in the afternoon
FRI: Spin at lunch, Jillian in the afternoon

Once the gym gets an instructor for the circuit class, I might add that in at lunch on TUES and THURS.  On the weekends when it is nice I am going to try to go on at least a 30 minute walks with the kids.  Once Liam gets the hang of riding his bike, we can do bike rides. 

So here I go.  Baring my soul (and my size)

Current Stats:
Weight: 194 lbs
Pants size: 14
Shirt Size: XL
Waist:  35.5" (measured at my PT test in December.  Mind you I was sucking in like my life depended on it.  Because my test PASS/FAIL did depend on it.)

Goal Stats:
Weight: 160 lbs (this is my dr's goal weight. Personally I want to be at least 150, if not less, but baby steps the dr says)
Pant Size: 9-10
Shirt Size: M-LG
Waist: 31" or less (without sucking in, lol)

My struggles are going to be hard to share, because people knowing when I falter will feel to me like I am a failure.  But on the same token sharing my accomplishments will make me feel like I am doing something worth while and motivate me to keep going.  Knowing people are going to read this will help me to push myself because I won't want to get on here and tell you I ate a cheeseburger and fries today.  I will want to get on here and tell you I went to spin class and then ran 2 miles.  So here I go on my weight loss journey.  Wish me luck!

****UPDATE:  Since writing this blog, I have in fact lost 4 lbs.  But so far, no more.****


*I will get a "BEFORE" picture up as soon as I can*

A Great Recipe for OAMC

Trying to keep true to my "resolution" of posting more frequently, yet having nothing really to say, I decided to share one of my favorite freezer recipes.   Some of you may recognize this from an email I sent you.  I just copied and pasted most of this blog from that email, haha...


Chicken Marsla Freezer Recipe
(That is the link to the original site I got this from)

1 - 1 1/2 lbs chicken breast, thinly sliced
1 cup flour
1 egg, beaten (possibly additional eggs)
1 stick butter
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 cup Marsala wine
Salt & pepper

In skillet, melt butter and add olive oil. Dip chicken pieces in egg, then dredge in flour to coat. Place chicken in frying pan and fry until golden on each side. Add chicken broth and remaining ingredients and simmer in skillet for ten minutes. Transfer to freezer-safe casserole (foil is ideal), cool, then label and freeze.

To prepare from frozen:
Heat oven to 350 degrees and loosely cover casserole with foil. Bake chicken marsala for 40 minutes, then remove foil. Continue cooking for 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked. Serve over pasta or rice.

Well, I wasn't sure about this one after I made it; I thought it would be soggy and gross.  But once I ate it I couldn't get enough. It was so juicy and tender. I usually serve this over rice and have a salad or some other nonstarchy veggie.  I just get regular chicken breasts and pound them flatter with a kitchen mallet because trying to slice them thin is ridiculously hard. And depending on how big it turns once its pounded it can be cut to 2 pieces sometimes. I usually make my pieces about the size of two playing cards. (not in thickness of course). And I use Regina Red Cooking Wine because at the time I was shopping I couldn't find any Marsala wine. But it turned out so good I never bothered trying the actual Marsala. I got the wine at Wal-Mart in the spice aisle or the baking section, can't remember which...

I use the same idea for Chicken Parmesan as far as cooking the chicken itself then I just top it with spaghetti sauce a shredded Parmesan cheese, once the chicken cools, then freeze it. I cooked it the same amount of time and the same way because it is just being reheated and I just served it over spaghetti noodles with salad and/or garlic bread.

If anyone tries this, let me know what you think!

Out With the Old and in With the New

Well I made it out of 2010 alive!  There is a lot to be said for that because I figured I would have killed myself or at least be in jail by now for killing one of my kids, lol...  *Disclaimer* Of course I am joking; I would never intentionally hurt one of my children, or myself...  My husband on the other hand... J/K (maybe)

We have some great things to look forward to this year, but first let's start with some highlights from last year in pictures...

 My sister got married

Liam started using the big boy potty!

We moved to Georgia

Liam became a big brother

My sisters wedding reception

My brother-in-law David graduated Basic Law Enforcement Training

First trip to the Atlanta Aquarium

Liam's 3rd Birthday

Greg received his Associates Degree in Electronic Systems Technology 

from the Community College of the Air Force

Melanie's first Christmas

Some things that are coming our way this year are (in no particular order):

1.  GREG IS COMING HOME!!!!
2.  I will meet my first niece/nephew!
3.  My brother-in-law John is getting married so I will be getting another Loving sister!
4.  Liam will be in his first wedding as the ring bearer in John and Amy's wedding.
5.  Melanie will celebrate her first birthday!
6.  I have to make the choice to stay in the Air Force or get out and go to school full time.
7.  Taking Liam to see his first Monster Truck Rally.
8.  Going to my cousins wedding.
9.  Hopefully going to the Pirate Festival in Savannah.
10.  Greg and I are possibly going on a cruise.

There are a couple other things I want to do that I guess you could call my resolutions.  I want to start reading things outside of my normal realm. My goal is to finish at least 10 books that are not the kind of things I would normally read.  I have been looking up lists of "classic" novels and choosing some to read.  I have also been pouring over Oprah's book list to choose some books.  I have been utilizing the library on base.  I am currently half way through East of Eden by John Steinbeck.  It is a little slow, but very good. 

Another thing I really want to buckle down on is this weight loss problem.  I had been doing everything right and didn't lose a single pound in 6 months, so I gave up.  I even spoke with a dietitian, had lab work done, was working out twice a day, and nothing...  So I am going to buckle back down on my diet and exercise and see if I can make some changes this year.

I also am going to try and make more of an effort to blog more.  I just have to find the time!

2010 brought us some great changes; I can only hope 2011 is just as great!

OAMC

Here is the long awaited blog everyone has been waiting for!  I actually wrote this over a month ago, I just hadn't tweaked it yet to post it...
 
I have been doing this thing call Once a Month Cooking (OAMC) for the past 2 months.  So far it has been working great for me! 

Before OAMC this was my schedule after work:

4:45 - Get home, let he dogs out, put away back packs/diaper bags, take out dirty clothes/bibs.  Change out of my uniform.

5:00 – Feed the baby and put her down for a short nap. 

5:15-6:00 - Make Dinner.  Sometimes if dinner has to bake or something I can get Melanie’s bottles together for the next day.   And usually Melanie has to be held if she’s awake.  She gets very needy in the evenings.
 
6-6:30 – Eat dinner.

6:30 – Usually Melanie needs to eat again.

7:00 - Baths for both kiddos

7:30 – Feed Melanie and put her down for the night while Liam watches TV and has a snack.

8:00 – Story time for Liam, tuck him in and get him to bed. 

8:30 – Usually my day winds down about this time…

It is non-stop until 8:30, and there is no time to really spend with the kids.   With the OAMC , I just preheat the oven or start the grill when I get home and at 5:00 I just pop something in and eat when it’s done.  It frees up pretty much a whole extra hour per night for me to do whatever I want.  It’s amazing.  Not only did cooking dinner take up so much time, it took energy too.  Energy I just don’t have most of the time after work. 

I did some research on OAMC before I started (Google mostly).  I purchased two cookbooks once I decided to commit to it.  The first chapter in each book is tips/rules to make it successful.  I read each one of them twice.  I wanted to make sure this was something I was going to want to continue to do and I figured if I took in as much information as I could, I would be more likely to succeed.  There were some things about food handling in there that I didn’t know too.  Like if you freeze meat, and thaw it, it has to be cooked before you can refreeze it or you can get sick.  

I started small, as recommended by one of my books.  I planned 15 meals, instead of a whole month or 30 days.  I chose 15 recipes.  I try to choose a few things that have similar ingredients so I dont have to buy as many different things.   Some stuff I already knew to how to make, some stuff I got offline or out of the book.  I shop at two different stores for the meal ingredients so I make three meticulous lists before each shopping session.  I go through each recipe and write down each ingredient and quantity on one of the three lists.  One list is my bulk list, the stuff I plan to buy at Sam’s Club.  For instance, I usually buy all of my meat in bulk.  It’s cheaper, good quality, and obviously I need a lot of it.  I also buy things like aluminum foil, aluminum trays, and freezer bags here.  And shredded cheese.  I buy huge like 10 lb bags of mozzarella and cheddar about every three months.  My second list is the list for the regular grocery store.  My third list is things I already have on hand.  After I go through each recipe I go back and add things I need, like milk, bread, diapers, etc…  Just so I don’t forget that stuff either.  But the most important thing is the ingredients for the OAMC.  It would not be fun to be in the middle of a recipe and then realize you forgot something. 

For the stuff I made that I already knew how to make, I wrote out an ingredient sheet for each recipe.  I have a notebook and plan on getting a binder and page protectors to store things more neatly and organized.  The first few times you go shopping for OAMC your grocery bill will be larger than usual.  Once you get started your pantry will become more stocked with the different spices and things you will use on a regular basis, so you won’t have to purchase them every time.   So it should go down over time because you will have more things on hand.  Mine went down from month one to month two just because I didn’t need to buy packaging materials, cheese, some spices, etc...    I usually set a little money aside from each paycheck for when I do my mass shopping trip. 

The first time I did OAMC, I looked at all my recipes and seen how many needed browned ground beef, and did it all together, or how many needed pasta, and boiled it all together,  etc…  It worked, but I think it was a little more chaotic for me, having multiple things going at once.  The second time I did it I more or less focused on one recipe at a time and did them in an order that would be easiest for me based on the actual recipes and preparation.   I did all of the beef recipes first, then the chicken ones.  Also, anything that was just going to be marinated and frozen, I did at the beginning of each different meat session.    Anything that wasn’t going to be cooked before being frozen was being prepared while other meat was cooking.  Like making a meatloaf and hamburger patties while beef was browning for lasagna.   Or I would pound out chicken for Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Chicken Breasts while some other chicken was baking.   I think the way I did it the second time was a little less hectic for me.  I still had multiple things going on at once, but not like the first time. 

Some recipes can be doubled to give you more helpings/meals, or even halved to feed less.   Or sometimes it just comes out that it is way more than you would eat at one time and you can split it into two nights worth of meals; depending on your family size.  I found the first time I cooked that I with that 15 recipes and the bulk meat I was able to actually make 22 meals when things got separated out.  The second time I got 26 meals.  I made two different types of hamburger patties and one made six and one made nine, so that alone is five days worth if it’s just Greg, Liam, and me.

I pack some things in aluminum pans and wrap it completely around with at least two layers of foil.  Anything that is just getting marinated I put in freezer zip lock bags.  Also some pastas, or casserole type things I put in there too.  Things like mini pizza I wrap individually in foil then put in a bag to store.  Things like hamburger patties I "flash freeze" first then wrap individually.  "Flash freeze" means to make the patty, place them in a single layer on a cookie sheet, then freeze them.  Once they are frozen, take them off the sheet and wrap them individually.  Everything is labeled with contents and the date.   I also put cooking instructions on each package, like 350 degrees for 30 min, and any special instructions it might have, like top with cheese or whatever.  I also write whether it needs to be thawed before it is cooked.   That way I don’t really have to go back and find anything in the books, or if Greg is going to cook it, everything he needs to know is right there. 
I also actually do it over a two day span, not all in one day.  I start on Saturday night after the baby is in bed and go basically until I am tired of cooking.  Then I semi clean up and start again in the morning.   Greg cleans up in between and after I am done since I am doing so much work.   In between he will load the dishwasher so I have clean stuff to start with the next day, and put stuff away I might have left out, and do a quick wipe down.  The next day he cleans more thoroughly when I am finished. 

Overall, this has been a great time saver for me, and I have come to enjoy being able to have a home cooked meal practically every night without having to actually do to much cooking.  Preparation has seemed to be the key in this.   I would recommend this to anyone who feels they don't have a lot of time to cook, or even if they hate to cook.  Doing something you hate once a month is better than doing it every night!

HO HO HO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

My Monkey is Growing

Wow!!! I cannot believe Liam is going to be three in 12 days... I don't even know where the time has gone. I feel like just yesterday I saw him for the first time, held his tiny little hands, sat with him for a week in the NICU, gave him his first bath... Some of my friends write letters to their kids almost monthly, but I don't know how I would find the time for that, (I have a hard enough time getting on here as it is) so I will just do it every once in a while. So here goes my first letter to my son...

Liam,
You are so big. It feels like yesterday I could easily hold you in my arms and rock you. That's not so easy anymore; trust me I just tried, haha... You are such a spit-fire, yet such a loving, caring, and sweet boy. You are definitely a mama's boy. Everything is Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... Mommy has to wash your hair, or get you a drink, or open your fruit snacks, or read your bed time story. It always has to be Mommy, Daddy just doesn't do it right I guess. I don't mind because I love you, but sometimes you don't realize I have to feed sissy, or that I am changing her and can't come right now, or that I am busy doing something, and you need to let Daddy help too because he is available.

You learned your ABC's sometime in the last few months since you started going to your new school. One day I just heard you singing them to yourself and you knew the whole song! I didn't even know you knew your ABC's so I was very surprised to hear it, but you did great. That's not surprising though considering just about everything you do, you are great at. Every week in school you learn about a different letter and you love to tell me all sorts of things about each letter. You are not a big fan of homework, but that is just because you would rather be playing, haha... You also have become quite the artist these past few months, not just scribbling lines all over the paper. You also surprised me one day by drawing a face, and I could actually tell the detail of the eyes, nose, mouth, etc... I really think you have learned a lot from this new school, and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

You are not only Mom's big helper, helping give your sister baths, or getting me diapers, or getting Missy her binky, you are also known as a big helper in school. You happily help pass out papers, or help line the younger kids up, or clean up. I am very grateful that you are that child. The fact that your teachers go out of their way to tell me how helpful you are makes me proud and lets me know I am doing something right.

Your imagination is unlike any other almost 3 year old I have met. The way describe things amazes me. For instance, a few months ago at school, everyone painted a picture. The teacher wrote on each picture what the child said it was a painting of then they hung them in the hall. While I was looking at them I noticed one child painted "a dog", one painted "a dinosaur', one painted "a horse," etc. Then I got to your painting. You painted, "a dinosaur in a bear cave." Not just a dinosaur, not just a cave. It made me laugh out loud at how much more detailed your description of your picture was. You love to dress up in different costumes and pretend different things. You wear a knight costume and pretend to slay dragons to save your princess. You put on a vest and a backpack and hold your hands to your eyes like binoculars and pretend you are an explorer. You love dramatic play.

When I filled out your 3 year old questionnaire at your check up, one of the questions was, "do you think your child talks like other children their age?" I wanted to mark that one NO! But not in a negative way. The way you speak is another thing that amazes me and makes you stand out. You correctly use such big words and phrases that most children your age don't even know. You have a pretty extensive vocabulary. You always speak in long complete sentences. Another question was, "does your child use 3-4 word sentences regularly? Give an example." You continuously use 7-10 word sentences! It was hard to give an example without looking like I made it up! Everyone always says they can't believe how well you speak. Proper English is a pet peeve of mine even if you are only 2, haha... You are also so polite. Please, thank you, excuse me, and you're welcome just flow out of your mouth like second nature. We have been working on "sir", and "ma'am."

You are an amazing big brother. There hasn't been one single moment of jealousy with your sister. You love her to death. You love holding her hand, and giving her "tiny hugs" and "tiny kisses." You call them that because you know you have to be gentle with her. If she is crying you try to give her a binky, or check her diaper. You help me give her baths. You completely adore and dote on your sister like no other. Hopefully the way you treat her doesn't change over the years. I only hope one day she realizes what a lucky girl she is to have you as a big brother, even when you are pestering or picking on her when you both get older, haha.

You are a stubborn one though. I have never seen a child stick to his guns the way you do when you want/don't want something. Like brushing your teeth. You hate it. I have tried a few different things to get you to at least tolerate it so we can get through it quickly, but nothing has worked. Every day is a battle and I usually resort to sitting on you and holding you down to brush them. No child of mine is going to be toothless if I can help it, haha. Dentists are expensive! You have also been getting a little attitude lately though. You are using the word NO a little more freely when I tell you to do something, but I think you just like to test your limits, the fact that you behave so well with everyone else shows that. Mom usually doesn't put up with that though, so the sooner you realize it, the faster we can move on with our lives.

You love to dance. When there is music playing, it's rare that you aren't moving to it. You love to be outside, no matter how hot or how cold it is. You love to swim, color, play with play dough, play with legos, have books read to you, and play with cars. Monster Trucks are your favorite, as you have just recently informed me. But lately no matter what it is, you have been telling me, "That's my FAVORITE!" And you say it with such enthusiasm it's hard not to believe you. You also love to sing. Your favorite song of the moment is "Gives You Hell" but it has to be the Glee version, not the All American Rejects. You say, "Mom, I want some Hell," when you want to hear it. It's pretty cute, and the only time you are allowed to say that, haha...

I know I got a little long winded, but I just had so much to say about you because you are so amazing. I hope that you continue to grow up to be the happy, carefree, content little boy that you are. I know you will continue to make me proud and I can't wait to see everything you accomplish in life as you grow up. Just don't do it too fast! I love you Monkey!

Love, Mommy