My World is a Jungle

Take It From the Top

2011-03-19T09:22:00.004-04:00

So I know I haven't been here is a while, but there has been a lot of stuff going on with me lately. Let's just start from the top I guess...

So I was pretty depressed after I had Melanie. I would cry at the drop of a hat, didn't want to do anything that I usually found pleasure in, the days would just drag etc... I went to the dr (let's call him Dr. D as in Dr. douche bag) and he referred me to mental health so I went and talked to a therapist. The therapist and Dr. D talked and so now I have been on zoloft since November. Well, I don't cry all the time and mope around anymore, but I still don't feel normal. I snap at Liam all the time, I have ZERO patience, things like that. Probably all just side effects of the zoloft.

Then about 3 months ago I started having these panic or anxiety attacks (as Dr. D diagnosed them) almost daily. When I told Dr. D about them I really felt he dismissed it and just upped my zoloft. What these attacks feel like is a wave of almost like a deja vu feeling, and then my head gets a little spinny and I have this a scene plays out in it, almost like it's something I dreamed before or have seen before and I can't shake the scene out or think of anything else. It consume all thought I have. Then it feels like someone is putting pressure on my chest like pushing on it a little and I feel nauseous. I can be sitting there doing nothing when it hits, or in spin class, or just woke up and still laying in bed, or changing the baby. I never know what triggers it, and I can never remember the "scene" that I was seeing after its over. That part lasts maybe 3 minutes. Then I just feel sick to my stomach for about an hour. It is very hard to describe and this probably isn't explaining it well. Dr D. recently prescribed me klonopin to take when I "feel an attack coming." I told him I don't feel anything until it's happening and he basically told me to humor him. WTH kind of answer is that?

So on top of that, I have had this pain at the base of my skull and the back of my neck and it feels like there is a hard lump on one side and Dr. D says its nothing. but he humored me and ordered an xray for it which as I suspected did not show a thing. The pan is so bad sometimes it makes me sick and all I can do is lay on the couch. I don't want to raise my children from a couch!

Then there is the weight thing. Did I mention the 4 lbs I lost was a fluke??? Yeah it must have been water weight lost or something because the next day I was back to normal 194. I go from 192-194 and that's all it varies. There is absolutely no reason with as hard as I work out and watch what I eat that I can't lose A SINGLE pound. Its ridiculous! I had my thyroid checked a few months ago, but apparently that was normal.

You want to know what Dr. D says is wrong with me? The root cause of ALL my problems??? STRESS. That's it. I'm just stressed. Dr. D wants to give me a psych referral. Whatever... I understand that all of those things could be stress related, but I really think the not losing weight is causing stress, not caused by it. I am not above seeing a psychiatrist. I have no problem with that. I just think that he is dismissing me too easily. I don't FEEL like its a stress thing. I feel like something is medically/physically wrong, not mentally. I deal with stress pretty well, and honestly apart from the whole post partum depression, I really don't feel extremely stressed or over worked or over stimulated or anything. I JUST DON'T FEEL STRESSED, and that's what he is not getting. I feel like he is dismissing me and my concerns. Just because I have a full time job, my husband is deployed and I have two kids does not automatically make me stressed. I have done this 3 other times. longer and longer each time, one other time with a kid. Trust me, I am an expert... If I actually felt stressed, I would buy what he's trying to sell me. But since I don't, I really think there is something else wrong. I really think he just doesn't want to do his job.

So after the x-ray and klonopin visit I decided to get a second opinion. My new dr is great! Lets call him Dr B, as in Dr. Best! Before my visit with Dr. B his nurse called. She asked me some questions about what has been going on and one of the questions was has anyone ever witnessed one of my "panic/anxiety" attacks. The answer at that time was only Liam, but I really don't think he would have been able to tell her what was going on. Then she asked me if I had ever had a seizure before, because that is what they almost sounded like to her. She ordered some lab work for some routine stuff, liver, kidney, glucose, etc... All of that came back normal. Before I went to my appointment with Dr. B I had an "episode" at work. We were all standing around talking to the commander who came to the shop to visit. I was standing at parade rest listening to my boss talk when it hit me. Afterward, my boss said I was standing there with a blank look on my face, my arms dropped to my side, and I looked like I was sort of spacing out. I told him I was having one of my "episodes." He said I was starring at him and he thought maybe he was forgetting something to tell the commander, lol... So I told Dr. B what my boss said. He agrees with the nurse, sounds like a partial/simple seizure. He put in a consult for Neuro for that, and ordered an MRI for my neck. One visit and Dr. B is making things happen!

There wasn't much by way of meds I could take while breastfeeding so I ended up stopping at the beginning of the month. Melanie took the adjustment well. We just depleted our frozen supply of breast milk yesterday, so now she will be all formula all the time.

I am also weaning off the zoloft over the next few weeks. That is my choice, I really feel like I don't need it anymore. There is more going on but right now, I just want to focus on those two main things. My MRI is next Friday and my Neuro appointment is April 19th. I will keep everyone posted.

Letting It All Hang Out

2011-02-10T21:15:00.000-05:00

***Ok I am going for it. This was the blog I wasn't sure I was ready to post. I wrote it about 3 weeks ago. I'm just going to do it and get over it, lol...***

Well, I read on some website while looking up some good lowfat/dieting recipes that blogging about your weight loss journey helps hold you accountable. After much thought and deliberation (and talking myself into it) I have decided that I am going to try to do just that. It's not going to be easy. Personally, I find my weight embarrassing. I realize I didn't exactly become this size from sitting on the couch shoveling food into my mouth. And it is not like I sit around on my butt all day everyday doing nothing. I am pretty active. But regardless of how I gained the weight, and how lazy or not lazy I am, my weight is still something I am embarrassed to admit.

I will be the first to admit I LOVE FOOD! Probably a lot more than most people. It doesn't matter what kind it is; American, Greek, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, you name it, I probably love it. (Except seafood. GROSS!) I will also admit that I make excuses for myself when I eat things that aren't exactly good for me. I tell myself things like, 'This will be the last time I grab fast food for at least a month.' Or 'I've had a hard day. One candy bar won't hurt.' So I add those extra calories on myself. Once I get down to my goal weight, those things will be a little more ok as long as I stay at least as active as I am now. But until I get there, I know I need to cut them out. But it is hard. We have all been there. We all know McDonald's doesn't require you to cook after you just worked a 10+ hour long day and your kid has swim lessons and you are either too exhausted too cook, or in a time crunch. We all know grabbing that candy bar or chips out of the vending machine is convenient if you forgot to pack a snack.

I have gotten good about packing my lunch and snacks for work over this past week. That way if I don't have time to come home, I don't feel forced to run to Taco Bell on base real quick for lunch and hurry back. And if I have a healthier alternative to a snack, I won't grab a candy bar or cookies or something from the snack fund. It worked pretty well for me last week. If I keep that going it will be a step in the right direction.

My next obstacle is the burning of the calories part. I HATE WORKING OUT! Unfortunately, (or fortunately; depending on how you look at it) being in shape is part of my job. Round and lumpy is a shape! Right there between oval and rectangle I swear! At a minimum we do PT 3 days a week with our squadron, 45-60 minutes. They aren't hard workouts usually. But I hate running. That probably has something to do with being fat though. Fat people have a hard time running; it's a lot of mass to move at a quick speed! All joking aside (for half a second at least) working out is boring to me. It is something I force myself to do and just suffer through. Honestly, I am not that out of shape; I am pretty fit because I am pretty active. I am just over weight. These past two weeks haven't been so bad because I have had a workout buddy to motivate me. So I think if we stick with each other, we can both do this.

Another obstacle I have to face is my ongoing shoulder problems. I can not do a push up with it. Although that may get easier as I get lighter. I can't do much weight lifting with it. This has been a problem since high school. I had surgery in 2005, and it felt great for about a year, then it was back to it's old self again. Then, when I was pregnant with Melanie I developed sacroiliac joint pain. This is the harder of the two pains to push through since it radiates through must of my body when it flares up. And the pain lasts for days. So if am continuously working out daily, it never really goes away. Heat barely helps, ice does nothing but make my butt cold. Motrin; what a joke. I try to push through what I can, but sometimes I just say screw it. That is another problem. I think I just need to find a balance, or an activity that doesn't aggravate it as much. Bearable pain I think is what my physical therapist said. She also said that it may get better when I get down to my ideal body weight because it will be less stress on my joint with less weight.

My exercise plan is as follows:
MON: Squadron PT in the AM, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred in the afternoon
TUES: Squadron PT in the AM, Jillian in the afternoon
WED: Spin Class at lunch, Jillian in the afternoon
THURS: Squadron PT in the AM, Jillian in the afternoon
FRI: Spin at lunch, Jillian in the afternoon

Once the gym gets an instructor for the circuit class, I might add that in at lunch on TUES and THURS. On the weekends when it is nice I am going to try to go on at least a 30 minute walks with the kids. Once Liam gets the hang of riding his bike, we can do bike rides.

So here I go. Baring my soul (and my size)

Current Stats:
Weight: 194 lbs
Pants size: 14
Shirt Size: XL
Waist: 35.5" (measured at my PT test in December. Mind you I was sucking in like my life depended on it. Because my test PASS/FAIL did depend on it.)

Goal Stats:
Weight: 160 lbs (this is my dr's goal weight. Personally I want to be at least 150, if not less, but baby steps the dr says)
Pant Size: 9-10
Shirt Size: M-LG
Waist: 31" or less (without sucking in, lol)

My struggles are going to be hard to share, because people knowing when I falter will feel to me like I am a failure. But on the same token sharing my accomplishments will make me feel like I am doing something worth while and motivate me to keep going. Knowing people are going to read this will help me to push myself because I won't want to get on here and tell you I ate a cheeseburger and fries today. I will want to get on here and tell you I went to spin class and then ran 2 miles. So here I go on my weight loss journey. Wish me luck!

****UPDATE: Since writing this blog, I have in fact lost 4 lbs. But so far, no more.****

*I will get a "BEFORE" picture up as soon as I can*

A Great Recipe for OAMC

2011-01-16T15:24:00.002-05:00

Trying to keep true to my "resolution" of posting more frequently, yet having nothing really to say, I decided to share one of my favorite freezer recipes. Some of you may recognize this from an email I sent you. I just copied and pasted most of this blog from that email, haha...

Chicken Marsla Freezer Recipe
(That is the link to the original site I got this from)

1 - 1 1/2 lbs chicken breast, thinly sliced
1 cup flour
1 egg, beaten (possibly additional eggs)
1 stick butter
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 cup Marsala wine
Salt & pepper

In skillet, melt butter and add olive oil. Dip chicken pieces in egg, then dredge in flour to coat. Place chicken in frying pan and fry until golden on each side. Add chicken broth and remaining ingredients and simmer in skillet for ten minutes. Transfer to freezer-safe casserole (foil is ideal), cool, then label and freeze.

To prepare from frozen:
Heat oven to 350 degrees and loosely cover casserole with foil. Bake chicken marsala for 40 minutes, then remove foil. Continue cooking for 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked. Serve over pasta or rice.

Well, I wasn't sure about this one after I made it; I thought it would be soggy and gross. But once I ate it I couldn't get enough. It was so juicy and tender. I usually serve this over rice and have a salad or some other nonstarchy veggie. I just get regular chicken breasts and pound them flatter with a kitchen mallet because trying to slice them thin is ridiculously hard. And depending on how big it turns once its pounded it can be cut to 2 pieces sometimes. I usually make my pieces about the size of two playing cards. (not in thickness of course). And I use Regina Red Cooking Wine because at the time I was shopping I couldn't find any Marsala wine. But it turned out so good I never bothered trying the actual Marsala. I got the wine at Wal-Mart in the spice aisle or the baking section, can't remember which...

I use the same idea for Chicken Parmesan as far as cooking the chicken itself then I just top it with spaghetti sauce a shredded Parmesan cheese, once the chicken cools, then freeze it. I cooked it the same amount of time and the same way because it is just being reheated and I just served it over spaghetti noodles with salad and/or garlic bread.

If anyone tries this, let me know what you think!

Out With the Old and in With the New

2011-01-03T11:59:00.002-05:00

Well I made it out of 2010 alive! There is a lot to be said for that because I figured I would have killed myself or at least be in jail by now for killing one of my kids, lol... *Disclaimer* Of course I am joking; I would never intentionally hurt one of my children, or myself... My husband on the other hand... J/K (maybe)

We have some great things to look forward to this year, but first let's start with some highlights from last year in pictures...

My sister got married

Liam started using the big boy potty!

We moved to Georgia

Liam became a big brother

My sisters wedding reception

My brother-in-law David graduated Basic Law Enforcement Training

First trip to the Atlanta Aquarium

Liam's 3rd Birthday

Greg received his Associates Degree in Electronic Systems Technology

from the Community College of the Air Force

Melanie's first Christmas

Some things that are coming our way this year are (in no particular order):

1. GREG IS COMING HOME!!!!
2. I will meet my first niece/nephew!
3. My brother-in-law John is getting married so I will be getting another Loving sister!
4. Liam will be in his first wedding as the ring bearer in John and Amy's wedding.
5. Melanie will celebrate her first birthday!
6. I have to make the choice to stay in the Air Force or get out and go to school full time.
7. Taking Liam to see his first Monster Truck Rally.
8. Going to my cousins wedding.
9. Hopefully going to the Pirate Festival in Savannah.
10. Greg and I are possibly going on a cruise.

There are a couple other things I want to do that I guess you could call my resolutions. I want to start reading things outside of my normal realm. My goal is to finish at least 10 books that are not the kind of things I would normally read. I have been looking up lists of "classic" novels and choosing some to read. I have also been pouring over Oprah's book list to choose some books. I have been utilizing the library on base. I am currently half way through East of Eden by John Steinbeck. It is a little slow, but very good.

Another thing I really want to buckle down on is this weight loss problem. I had been doing everything right and didn't lose a single pound in 6 months, so I gave up. I even spoke with a dietitian, had lab work done, was working out twice a day, and nothing... So I am going to buckle back down on my diet and exercise and see if I can make some changes this year.

I also am going to try and make more of an effort to blog more. I just have to find the time!

2010 brought us some great changes; I can only hope 2011 is just as great!

OAMC

2010-12-20T20:40:00.003-05:00

Here is the long awaited blog everyone has been waiting for! I actually wrote this over a month ago, I just hadn't tweaked it yet to post it...

I have been doing this thing call Once a Month Cooking (OAMC) for the past 2 months. So far it has been working great for me!

Before OAMC this was my schedule after work:

4:45 - Get home, let he dogs out, put away back packs/diaper bags, take out dirty clothes/bibs. Change out of my uniform.

5:00 – Feed the baby and put her down for a short nap.

5:15-6:00 - Make Dinner. Sometimes if dinner has to bake or something I can get Melanie’s bottles together for the next day.   And usually Melanie has to be held if she’s awake. She gets very needy in the evenings.

6-6:30 – Eat dinner.

6:30 – Usually Melanie needs to eat again.

7:00 - Baths for both kiddos

7:30 – Feed Melanie and put her down for the night while Liam watches TV and has a snack.

8:00 – Story time for Liam, tuck him in and get him to bed.

8:30 – Usually my day winds down about this time…

It is non-stop until 8:30, and there is no time to really spend with the kids.   With the OAMC , I just preheat the oven or start the grill when I get home and at 5:00 I just pop something in and eat when it’s done. It frees up pretty much a whole extra hour per night for me to do whatever I want. It’s amazing. Not only did cooking dinner take up so much time, it took energy too. Energy I just don’t have most of the time after work.

I did some research on OAMC before I started (Google mostly). I purchased two cookbooks once I decided to commit to it. The first chapter in each book is tips/rules to make it successful. I read each one of them twice. I wanted to make sure this was something I was going to want to continue to do and I figured if I took in as much information as I could, I would be more likely to succeed. There were some things about food handling in there that I didn’t know too. Like if you freeze meat, and thaw it, it has to be cooked before you can refreeze it or you can get sick.

I started small, as recommended by one of my books. I planned 15 meals, instead of a whole month or 30 days. I chose 15 recipes. I try to choose a few things that have similar ingredients so I dont have to buy as many different things.   Some stuff I already knew to how to make, some stuff I got offline or out of the book. I shop at two different stores for the meal ingredients so I make three meticulous lists before each shopping session. I go through each recipe and write down each ingredient and quantity on one of the three lists. One list is my bulk list, the stuff I plan to buy at Sam’s Club. For instance, I usually buy all of my meat in bulk. It’s cheaper, good quality, and obviously I need a lot of it. I also buy things like aluminum foil, aluminum trays, and freezer bags here. And shredded cheese. I buy huge like 10 lb bags of mozzarella and cheddar about every three months. My second list is the list for the regular grocery store. My third list is things I already have on hand. After I go through each recipe I go back and add things I need, like milk, bread, diapers, etc… Just so I don’t forget that stuff either. But the most important thing is the ingredients for the OAMC. It would not be fun to be in the middle of a recipe and then realize you forgot something.

For the stuff I made that I already knew how to make, I wrote out an ingredient sheet for each recipe. I have a notebook and plan on getting a binder and page protectors to store things more neatly and organized. The first few times you go shopping for OAMC your grocery bill will be larger than usual. Once you get started your pantry will become more stocked with the different spices and things you will use on a regular basis, so you won’t have to purchase them every time.   So it should go down over time because you will have more things on hand. Mine went down from month one to month two just because I didn’t need to buy packaging materials, cheese, some spices, etc...    I usually set a little money aside from each paycheck for when I do my mass shopping trip.

The first time I did OAMC, I looked at all my recipes and seen how many needed browned ground beef, and did it all together, or how many needed pasta, and boiled it all together, etc… It worked, but I think it was a little more chaotic for me, having multiple things going at once. The second time I did it I more or less focused on one recipe at a time and did them in an order that would be easiest for me based on the actual recipes and preparation.   I did all of the beef recipes first, then the chicken ones. Also, anything that was just going to be marinated and frozen, I did at the beginning of each different meat session.    Anything that wasn’t going to be cooked before being frozen was being prepared while other meat was cooking. Like making a meatloaf and hamburger patties while beef was browning for lasagna.   Or I would pound out chicken for Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Chicken Breasts while some other chicken was baking.   I think the way I did it the second time was a little less hectic for me. I still had multiple things going on at once, but not like the first time.

Some recipes can be doubled to give you more helpings/meals, or even halved to feed less.   Or sometimes it just comes out that it is way more than you would eat at one time and you can split it into two nights worth of meals; depending on your family size. I found the first time I cooked that I with that 15 recipes and the bulk meat I was able to actually make 22 meals when things got separated out. The second time I got 26 meals. I made two different types of hamburger patties and one made six and one made nine, so that alone is five days worth if it’s just Greg, Liam, and me.

I pack some things in aluminum pans and wrap it completely around with at least two layers of foil. Anything that is just getting marinated I put in freezer zip lock bags. Also some pastas, or casserole type things I put in there too. Things like mini pizza I wrap individually in foil then put in a bag to store. Things like hamburger patties I "flash freeze" first then wrap individually. "Flash freeze" means to make the patty, place them in a single layer on a cookie sheet, then freeze them. Once they are frozen, take them off the sheet and wrap them individually. Everything is labeled with contents and the date.   I also put cooking instructions on each package, like 350 degrees for 30 min, and any special instructions it might have, like top with cheese or whatever. I also write whether it needs to be thawed before it is cooked.   That way I don’t really have to go back and find anything in the books, or if Greg is going to cook it, everything he needs to know is right there.
I also actually do it over a two day span, not all in one day. I start on Saturday night after the baby is in bed and go basically until I am tired of cooking. Then I semi clean up and start again in the morning.   Greg cleans up in between and after I am done since I am doing so much work.   In between he will load the dishwasher so I have clean stuff to start with the next day, and put stuff away I might have left out, and do a quick wipe down. The next day he cleans more thoroughly when I am finished.

Overall, this has been a great time saver for me, and I have come to enjoy being able to have a home cooked meal practically every night without having to actually do to much cooking. Preparation has seemed to be the key in this.   I would recommend this to anyone who feels they don't have a lot of time to cook, or even if they hate to cook. Doing something you hate once a month is better than doing it every night!

HO HO HO!

2010-12-04T22:56:00.001-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

My Monkey is Growing

2010-10-14T21:36:00.005-04:00

Wow!!! I cannot believe Liam is going to be three in 12 days... I don't even know where the time has gone. I feel like just yesterday I saw him for the first time, held his tiny little hands, sat with him for a week in the NICU, gave him his first bath... Some of my friends write letters to their kids almost monthly, but I don't know how I would find the time for that, (I have a hard enough time getting on here as it is) so I will just do it every once in a while. So here goes my first letter to my son...

Liam,
You are so big. It feels like yesterday I could easily hold you in my arms and rock you. That's not so easy anymore; trust me I just tried, haha... You are such a spit-fire, yet such a loving, caring, and sweet boy. You are definitely a mama's boy. Everything is Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... Mommy has to wash your hair, or get you a drink, or open your fruit snacks, or read your bed time story. It always has to be Mommy, Daddy just doesn't do it right I guess. I don't mind because I love you, but sometimes you don't realize I have to feed sissy, or that I am changing her and can't come right now, or that I am busy doing something, and you need to let Daddy help too because he is available.

You learned your ABC's sometime in the last few months since you started going to your new school. One day I just heard you singing them to yourself and you knew the whole song! I didn't even know you knew your ABC's so I was very surprised to hear it, but you did great. That's not surprising though considering just about everything you do, you are great at. Every week in school you learn about a different letter and you love to tell me all sorts of things about each letter. You are not a big fan of homework, but that is just because you would rather be playing, haha... You also have become quite the artist these past few months, not just scribbling lines all over the paper. You also surprised me one day by drawing a face, and I could actually tell the detail of the eyes, nose, mouth, etc... I really think you have learned a lot from this new school, and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

You are not only Mom's big helper, helping give your sister baths, or getting me diapers, or getting Missy her binky, you are also known as a big helper in school. You happily help pass out papers, or help line the younger kids up, or clean up. I am very grateful that you are that child. The fact that your teachers go out of their way to tell me how helpful you are makes me proud and lets me know I am doing something right.

Your imagination is unlike any other almost 3 year old I have met. The way describe things amazes me. For instance, a few months ago at school, everyone painted a picture. The teacher wrote on each picture what the child said it was a painting of then they hung them in the hall. While I was looking at them I noticed one child painted "a dog", one painted "a dinosaur', one painted "a horse," etc. Then I got to your painting. You painted, "a dinosaur in a bear cave." Not just a dinosaur, not just a cave. It made me laugh out loud at how much more detailed your description of your picture was. You love to dress up in different costumes and pretend different things. You wear a knight costume and pretend to slay dragons to save your princess. You put on a vest and a backpack and hold your hands to your eyes like binoculars and pretend you are an explorer. You love dramatic play.

When I filled out your 3 year old questionnaire at your check up, one of the questions was, "do you think your child talks like other children their age?" I wanted to mark that one NO! But not in a negative way. The way you speak is another thing that amazes me and makes you stand out. You correctly use such big words and phrases that most children your age don't even know. You have a pretty extensive vocabulary. You always speak in long complete sentences. Another question was, "does your child use 3-4 word sentences regularly? Give an example." You continuously use 7-10 word sentences! It was hard to give an example without looking like I made it up! Everyone always says they can't believe how well you speak. Proper English is a pet peeve of mine even if you are only 2, haha... You are also so polite. Please, thank you, excuse me, and you're welcome just flow out of your mouth like second nature. We have been working on "sir", and "ma'am."

You are an amazing big brother. There hasn't been one single moment of jealousy with your sister. You love her to death. You love holding her hand, and giving her "tiny hugs" and "tiny kisses." You call them that because you know you have to be gentle with her. If she is crying you try to give her a binky, or check her diaper. You help me give her baths. You completely adore and dote on your sister like no other. Hopefully the way you treat her doesn't change over the years. I only hope one day she realizes what a lucky girl she is to have you as a big brother, even when you are pestering or picking on her when you both get older, haha.

You are a stubborn one though. I have never seen a child stick to his guns the way you do when you want/don't want something. Like brushing your teeth. You hate it. I have tried a few different things to get you to at least tolerate it so we can get through it quickly, but nothing has worked. Every day is a battle and I usually resort to sitting on you and holding you down to brush them. No child of mine is going to be toothless if I can help it, haha. Dentists are expensive! You have also been getting a little attitude lately though. You are using the word NO a little more freely when I tell you to do something, but I think you just like to test your limits, the fact that you behave so well with everyone else shows that. Mom usually doesn't put up with that though, so the sooner you realize it, the faster we can move on with our lives.

You love to dance. When there is music playing, it's rare that you aren't moving to it. You love to be outside, no matter how hot or how cold it is. You love to swim, color, play with play dough, play with legos, have books read to you, and play with cars. Monster Trucks are your favorite, as you have just recently informed me. But lately no matter what it is, you have been telling me, "That's my FAVORITE!" And you say it with such enthusiasm it's hard not to believe you. You also love to sing. Your favorite song of the moment is "Gives You Hell" but it has to be the Glee version, not the All American Rejects. You say, "Mom, I want some Hell," when you want to hear it. It's pretty cute, and the only time you are allowed to say that, haha...

I know I got a little long winded, but I just had so much to say about you because you are so amazing. I hope that you continue to grow up to be the happy, carefree, content little boy that you are. I know you will continue to make me proud and I can't wait to see everything you accomplish in life as you grow up. Just don't do it too fast! I love you Monkey!

Love, Mommy

Da Bears

2010-09-29T20:40:00.001-04:00

I thought I would compare Liam and Melanie wearing the same outfits rooting for the best team around...

~Melanie~ ~Liam~

Liam had a jersey on before this, but he decided he was
"done playing football" so he took it off...

Melanie Ryan Loving

2010-08-11T22:02:00.002-04:00

Well, it has been a few months since I have been on here. We are offically settled into Georgia and it's a great feeling. It took us a while to get Internet, but now that we have it, and things seem to have settled down with the baby, I will try to get on here and update more often.

First things first, Melanie has arrived! I am sure most of you figured that out by now, haha... She was born June 1st, 2010 at 10:21 AM. She was 7 lbs 12 oz 19 1/2 inches long. Not quite as big as her brother who weighed in at 8 lbs 14 oz, 22 inches. Labor was super fast and semi-easy. I arrived at the hospital at 7 AM to be induced. They hooked me up to the monitors and I was already having some pretty good contractions, 5 minutes apart. At about 8 o'clock my doctor came in and broke my water and started the pitocin. This already was extremely different from when I had Liam. They didn't break my water with him until about 10 hours into my pitocin. about 9:30 I was starting to really feel the contractions and opted for some Demerol instead of my epidural. That was a HUGE mistake! The second the Demerol hit my blood stream I became an emotional wreck! You would have thought my entire family was just killed in a horrific car accident the way I was carrying on. No joke! I was screaming and crying and just have a total meltdown every time a contraction hit. I immediately wanted my epidural then, but of course the anesthesiologist would take forever to get there! At least it seemed like forever. Time goes very slowly when you are doped up on Demerol. About 10:00 he finally arrived and went straight to it. Now here was the fun part; Melanie was on her way out already at that point, and technically it was probably too late to get an epidural, but the way I was carrying on, my nurse told the anesthesiologist, "you better hurry up because I'm not telling her it's too late!" So, while he was putting it in, I was fighting the very strong urge to push. Now for those of you who have had kids, you can probably imagine how hard that is, especially when you are sitting up! About this time my mom and sister FINALLY arrive. They drove down from Illinois to just see the baby be born, and almost missed it! I started pushing shortly after 10, and even though it seemed like forever (damn Demerol), at 10:21 Melanie Ryan arrived looking perfect as can be screaming her little heart out.

Melanie is an extremely different baby than Liam was. She cried. A LOT! Let me rephrase that: SHE SCREAMS! FOR HOURS! You hardly ever heard a sound from Liam when he was a baby. Even when he got shots as a baby, Liam would cry maybe 10 seconds. He was done by the time you put his pants back on. Melanie screamed for half an hour like they were still poking her with needles. The screaming started about 2 weeks old, and it was an almost nightly occurrence. I will say that these past 2 weeks or so, it has settled down some (knock on wood). Well, at least it seems that way because there suddenly seems to be a few ways to calm her down, most of the time. But I really do think it's starting to get better, it seems like she is more fussy now, than actual screaming anymore *fingers crossed.* For those of you with babies who scream for what appears to be no reason for hours and there is pretty much nothing you can to do comfort them, I feel for you! If she wold have been my first, she would have been an only child, haha... But in all seriousness having a baby who cries like they are in constant pain, and you can't do anything to comfort them is heart breaking, nerve wracking, stressful, tiring, and it really can take its toll on you physically and mentally. The only thing I can recommend, is taking turns and try to be patient. When you feel like you cant handle anymore, switch and let Daddy take a turn for a little bit. Or put baby someplace safe, like their crib, and just go relax for a few minutes. It's not going to hurt them to cry by themselves for a few minutes so you can gather your bearings... It's probably better for them because they can sense your anxiety. And just remember, even though it might feel like you are doing something wrong because you cant get them to stop crying, it's not your fault!

I am breastfeeding Melanie. I tried with Liam, but was not successful. Since he was in the NICU for a week and I didn't have 24 hour a day access to him, I had a hard time producing enough milk, and he had a hard time latching on. But Melanie was a pro! There were a few times when I thought it wasn't going to work out and I thought I was going to have to go to formula, but we pulled through and she is now exclusively breastfed. It remains to be seen if I am still going to be able to pump enough to keep up with her demands while we are separated in the coming weeks, although I did recently acquire a new awesome pump! Thanks Jessica!!! If she starts wanting more than I pump at work, I guess I will have to start adding another session at home or something. I will try my best. And maybe at 4 months when she is cleared to start solids, I will have to start them that early, just so she will require less milk. Although I was wanting to wait until closer to 6 months to start that stuff, we will just have to see how it goes. It's hard since we are apart about 11 hours from her first feeding in the morning until the next time I see her in the afternoon! But apparently she is getting enough to eat because she weighed in at 12 lbs 2 oz at her 2 month check up.

Another difference between Liam and Melanie is sleeping. Liam was sleeping 10-12 hours a night at 4 weeks old. Right now Melanie is sleeping from 9 PM until about 2 or 3 AM, so I get a good 5-6 hour stretch there, but that didn't start to be consistent until about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Before that it was every 1-3 hours. Liam was always 4 hours like clock work until 4 weeks old. Although last night she slept from 9 PM until 6 AM, so maybe she's starting a new sleep pattern. But the 5-6 hour thing works for me, and when she does wake up after that time, she just eats and goes back to sleep until I wake her up again at about 5:30.

Other than her fits at night, she is a super happy baby, pretty quiet during the day, and smiles all the time. She loves her big brother and he loves her to death. I can't wait until she is older and can move around and interact with him more! I will try to get on here again soon to give update on more than just Little Miss Melanie, but for now, it's time to hit the sack. After all, this momma has a three full-time jobs, Mother, Wife, and Airman! Good night all!

Quick update!

2010-03-22T21:36:00.001-04:00

Well it's been awhile, but I am here. We are officially leaving Alaska April 1st. We are stopping through Illinois for 7 days to help my sister with some wedding reception planning and then it's off to Georgia. We are getting all of our stuff packed and moved Thursday and Friday of this week, so I wanted to get a quick Family update in before the computer got taken since our laptop took a crap on us a few months ago and I will be computer-less for a while.

So lets start with Liam... He is potty trained! Once he decided he wanted to do it, it was super easy. We went and picked out a ton of big boy underwear and he hasn't looked back since. He still wears a pull up at night. We tried without one all last week and he had two accidents. Greg had the week off so Liam was sleeping for 10-12 hours a night, and apparently he just cant hold it or wasn't getting out of bed soon enough when he was waking up after sleeping that long. He doesn't pee in the middle of the night, just in the morning. He wants to wear underwear to bed too, but I had to explain to him that since he was peeing in his bed in the morning instead of his potty, he had to wear a pull up. So then Sunday morning he got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom before he even came and woke me up! I saw him coming out of the bathroom and asked him if he went potty and he said, "Yep, I can't pee my bed." So hopefully he will make that a habit and we can retire the pull ups for good! Other than potty training we have been working on counting, shapes, and colors. He is doing great with all three. He can count to six with little to no help. He knows a square, rectangle, star, circle, oval, triangle, and heart for his shapes. As far as colors go, he can point out if you ask him to find the blue or green or whatever, but he has a harder time if you ask him 'what color is this?' I'm not sure why that is, I guess just the way he learns, but I am sure he will figure it out. He also learned about different feelings at daycare, so now he always asks me if I am happy or mad or sad, haha... Or he tells me that he or his toys are happy or something. Its pretty cute. That just about wraps it up for Liam.

I was told I have gestational diabetes again today, so that's exciting, NOT... But it is also not as severe as last time, as told by my sugar levels, and the fact that I haven't gained but 1/3 of the weight I did when I was this far along last time. By this time with Liam I was up 60 pounds, and now I am only up 22, so that's good. Although my doctor did tell me she would like it if I didn't gain anymore, I don't know how that's going to work out though. I guess since I will be on a low carb diet for the diabetes, it might be easier, but we will see. I still think I am doing great, especially compared to my last pregnancy, so I am not overly concerned about that. I am not looking forward to pricking my finger 4 times a day though, UGH!!! Other than the diabetes again, I have been enjoying this pregnancy far more than I did my one with Liam, but that's mostly attributed to the weight gain. Gaining 60 lbs that fast will make a person miserable, lol! I have also been diagnosed with having sacroiliac joint and tendon pain, which is causing the lower back pains. Basically since the pregnancy hormones make your joints so loose, and I am already double jointed just about everywhere, that makes it worse. I am in Physical Therapy and I was given some exercises and have to work on the way I walk, stand, sit, and do just about everything so I m not hyper-extending my joints like I normally do. So that's been a challenge, but I am working on it.

As far as Greg goes, he has just been busy at work and everything getting ready for the big move, and playing video games. That's it, lol...

Well that's the update on the family before we leave Alaska. It's been a great journey and we enjoyed most of our time up here, but it's time to move on. It's bittersweet because there are people who will be greatly missed here, but we are excited to get to warmer climates, be closer to family, and start a new chapter in our lives. Such is the military life, and we can do it all again in about 3 years!

27 Week Baby Bump

2010-03-22T00:00:00.001-04:00

And the Winner is.... TEAM GIRL!

2010-01-20T21:56:00.003-05:00

~Profile view of our little girl~

~Skeletal view of her little face~

~Her cute little butt~

That last one is a picture of her butt on the right side and her legs on the top and bottom. Her bottom leg is a blur because she did not sit still for any of her pictures! If you notice there is an absence of anything hanging between those little kicking legs she has! YAY TEAM GIRL!!!! Now we just need to agree on a name... I am open to suggestions!

Devil Went Down to Georgia

2010-01-16T18:27:00.000-05:00

Well we know where we are moving to next... Moody Air Force Base, Georgia. It is just outside of Valdosta in southern Georgia, 30 miles north of the Florida border. I wanted hot, so I guess I got it... We know two families we worked with when we were stationed in Maryland that are there now, too. It is only just over 4 hours to my Dad's house, 8 hours to Greg's mom's, and 14 hours to mine. All in all, not too shabby. The only bad thing about it is that Greg will be working in a Security Forces Squadron (cops) and not in the normal Communications Squadron where I will be, and normally he would too. So potentially he could be getting deployed, A LOT. We won't know for sure until we get there but the chances are very high. He could potentially be gone for 6 months out of every year, which wouldn't be great at all. But we will make the best of it, we always do.

The reason I titled this after the Charlie Daniels song is because when I called to the new office where I will be working, I found out that I will most likely be in charge of the work center. When I told the people I work with now, that's what they started singing! Come on, I'm not that bad, haha... I have never officially ran an entire work center so that will be a challenge I am sure. I don't even know for sure if I will be in charge, or second in line. The person who is in charge now was not there when I called, but it seems like we are the same rank almost down to the month, so when we figure out if we made our rank the same month or different it will be whoever made the rank earlier that will be in charge and the other second in command. Either way, this is going to be a big step up for me from where I fall in the ranks now in my current shop, because when I made my rank last time, I just went from being the highest ranking Senior Airman, to the lowest ranking Staff Sergeant, so nothing changed except I had one more stripe, and more money, lol...

As long as we don't have to wait until the last minute for them to give us our orders (the papers that say we can leave) we plan on being out of here April 1st with a stop over in Illinois for a 4-5 days so I can help my sister with some wedding planning. I have to be to GA by April 23rd at the latest because I can not be traveling after 34 weeks. So we should be in GA mid-April! I am looking forward to this new adventure in our lives and I can't wait for it to being!

18 Week Belly Shots!

2010-01-09T14:45:00.001-05:00

16 Week Appt

2009-12-23T01:42:00.001-05:00

Well everything is going well with the bun in the oven. Little Loving is measuring perfectly. It took a while to find the heart beat because this one is a wiggler. But, once the doctor found it, it was perfect, in the 150's. I am down another pound, and my blood pressure was fine this time. My diabetes test came back fine, but they still want me to test again at 28 weeks, just in case I guess.

Liam was not as interested as I thought he would be to hear the baby's heart beat, but he probably still doesn't really get it. I still plan on taking him to the ultrasound, unless he's being a total butt that day. Maybe if he can see the baby, it will register more. I'm showing a little but I don't think that's something that 2 year olds notice. At least not until I get a huge belly. Maybe once the baby starts moving and he can feel it on the outside it will click a little more. If not, I guess when baby comes home he will realize, haha...

In other news, in case anyone was wondering, Liam is now a princess. I tried telling him that only girls were princesses and that boys were called a prince, but he told me, "No Ma. I a pincess." That's how he says it, without the R, haha. My little "Pincess." Also, Liam is no longer a baby, or so he says. If I call him my baby boy, he tells me, "I not a baby. I Liam." He is too funny.

I doubt I will be back on here before Christmas with any news, so I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and gets everything they want from Santa!

Only in Alaska...

2009-12-13T20:13:00.001-05:00

Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

2009-12-12T21:42:00.001-05:00

So we took Liam to see the Big Guy today... He didn't cry or anything, and he didn't even panic like he did last year. In fact, once I told him that Santa would give him a candy cane, he walked right up there and let him pick him up. That probably won't be a good thing in the future when strangers offer him candy, but this time it was cute, haha...

~Liam & Santa~

~Pondering what he wants for Christmas~

~I want Diego!~

~This one is my favorite~

Swim Lessons...

2009-12-10T21:27:00.002-05:00

Greg trying to get Liam to do his back floats...

Finally doing his back floats...

Belly floats and blowing bubbles...

Piggy back rides with dunks...

Holidays and Life...

2009-12-08T14:17:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving came and went and now Christmas is right around the corner. I have all of my shopping done, except for Greg, but I just have to go pick up his gift as I already know what I am getting him. I joined the craziness that is Black Friday and got some great things for great prices and finished up all of my shopping for Liam in one day, and plus got him a few cute outfits. All my packages of gifts for family across the country are mailed out. I just have a few cards to drop in the mail after I get some stamps today. The tree was put up the weekend after Thanksgiving and the lights are up on the outside of the house. I am officially ready for Christmas! Oh wait, I still have all the presents to wrap, haha...

So the new baby, which I have yet to come up with a nickname for, is doing great as of my 12 week appointment, 2 weeks ago. It was measuring good and the heart rate was great. They had to take my blood pressure twice the last 2 times I have been there because the first time it was reading low, and then it was normal. It was weird that it happened twice, so my doctor wants to keep an eye on that the next few times I am in, but she doesn't think it's anything to be concerned about because it was fine right after. I already took my first glucose test. Since I had diabetes last time, they wanted to test me earlier this time. I haven't heard anything, but then again they could just be waiting until my next appointment to say anything so I can schedule my follow ups with the Nutrional Medicine Clinic. Usually no news is good news, but with this hospital, you never know. When they weighed me I was down 4 lbs from my previous appointment, which is weird because I haven't been sick or anything like that, and I have been eating pretty much the same. But, I do still work out 5 days a week for an hour at a time on top of chasing a 2 year old around. So overall, I have gained 6 lbs at 12 weeks, which is about an 1/4th of how much I had gained with Liam at this point, lol... So this pregnancy looks like it may go a little better for me weight wise, which I am VERY grateful for.

We have Liam enrolled in swim class now. He goes to that on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. He has only had one class so far, but he loved it. He has another one tonight and Greg will be there this time too (he had to work last time) so we will be able to get some pictures. Liam has been surprising me lately with the number of things he knows, that I didn't know he knew. For example, I didn't know he knew what sounds animals made, other than like a cat, dog, and frog. But he comes up to me the other day and says "Chicken , bawk, bawk, bawk." I didn't even know he knew what a chicken was! So here was our conversation after that:

Me: What sound does a cow make?

Liam: Mooooooo

Me: What sound does a pig make?

Liam: Oink oink oink

Me: What sound does a lion make?

Liam: Don't know, Ma

Me: Roar!

Liam: No Mom, Puma says that...

Me: (laughing) Yes a Puma does say that too. What sound does a horse make?

Liam: Ummm.... GIDDY UP HORSEY!!!

Of course there where a number of other animals we discussed as well, but the horse thing was so cute and so funny. I almost died I was laughing so hard... And the Puma thing? Who writes this stuff? Like honestly, where do they come up with this? It is so amazing to me how a kids mind works sometimes. You just never know what is going to come out of thier mouths. There is definitley a surprise around every corner. Motherhood is great isn't it?

I am EXHAUSTED!!!

2009-11-18T00:11:00.001-05:00

I know it has been a while since my last post. We have been so busy with the selling of the house, moving, and just normal day to day stuff it is exhausting. When I even think about sitting down at the computer for more than 10 minutes, I get distracted by something important to do, or just decide to go to sleep instead.

Well since my last post, Liam has turned 2, we celebrated Halloween, and we have moved back onto base because we sold the house. Like I said, busy. Not to mention I am EXHAUSTED! I do not remember feeling this damn tired all the time when I was pregnant with Liam. I could seriously get off of work everyday and go to sleep until I had to be back the next morning. But of course I can't do that because I have my wifely and motherly duties to tend to. I mean, call me crazy, but after a long day at work, I do like to spend some time with my family when I get home. I am almost a week away from my 2nd trimester so hopefully this will fade as my pregnancy progresses. I will just die if I am this tired for the next 6 months! I have my 12 week appointment Monday, so I will give a baby update after that.

I figure with all that we have missed in blogging the past month, I will just post some pictures of Liam's birthday for now. I need to load the Halloween pictures onto the computer still so when I empty my camera I will get those on. When I get the house mostly together I may throw a few of those up here too. But for now enjoy what I give you, haha...

First Peek

2009-10-12T00:58:00.001-04:00

Well my projected due date has changed to June 5th from May 20th. Apparently I ovulate waaaaay late because that's 2 weeks and some change different than the due date according to my LMP! I actually should have expected it, because the due date with Liam changed to about 2 weeks later too, but with Liam I was on the pill so my time of the month was forced and there was really no telling anything by dates. I had some blood work to check my HGC levels and more tomorrow, and another ultrasound Thursday to be sure, but that seems to be the new due date, at least for now.

Nothing to see here folks, move along!!! (Except a tiny little sac, lol)

I need to think of a funny name for this Little Loving. I called Liam "Cletus the Fetus" while I was pregnant with him, but I haven't been able to think of anyhting as clever as that yet. Any ideas?

Translation Please?

2009-10-04T01:54:00.001-04:00

I was just thinking how Liam cracks me up when he says certain things. Like how he won't put an S at the beginning of words unless the second letter is a vowel. Or how when says words I never even knew he knew how to say. When he first started talking you could not understand most of what he said, but it's amazing how fast he has progressed with his speech. Here are a few things he says, and their translation.

BongeBa = SpongeBob Squarepants

Cuck = Cup

Wuzzy = Wow Wow Wubbzy

Kayee = Kali (our dog)

Peas = Please

Tank Oo = Thank You

Nack = Snack

Gweps = Grapes

Tac Tac = Tic Tac

Cuhwa = Color

Waa You = Love You

Daygo = Go Diego, Go

Chutch = Aunt Rachel

M'on = Come On

Bayoon = Balloon

CHEEEEEESE!!!!

Little Loving #2

2009-09-25T14:52:00.002-04:00

Well, I was going to wait for my first ultrasound to post this blog, but so many of you already know so... For those of you who haven't heard already, I am pregnant with Little Loving #2. I haven't had any Dr. appointments yet or anything, but right now my estimated due date is May 20th. My first appointment is October 8th. We have been trying for a second child since April, and month after month when nothing happened, I always felt a little disappointed. I am very thankful that it only took five months, especially when I know there are plenty of people who it takes years for them to have children. But, I think it's natural still to feel a little disappointment every month.. (I am stealing the following idea from Kelly, lol)

I would like to point out that I HATE any pregnancy test that isn't digital. I've never taken a regular one that I have been able to clearly read the results of. The line is never clear enough to me. It's never dark enough, or solid enough, sometimes only the ends of the lines look like they are there, or maybe that's just a mark of where the line would be if it was there... It's so confusing to me, lol. The same day I took this digital one I took a regular one and I couldn't tell without a shadow of a doubt what the result was. Obviously I wasn't going to run and tell Greg I think I might be pregnant, but I'm not for sure, but maybe... Because then his hopes would get all up and what if I wasn't? So I ran out and grabbed a digital one. I hadn't bought it to begin with because they are more expensive than the regular ones. So to anyone who has questions about pregnant tests, I totally recommend digital ones. The results are clear as day and there will be no doubt what it says, lol.

In other news, one month and one day until my current little man turns two! His birthday party is going to be a Spongebob theme since that is his favorite cartoon. He is also going to be Spongebob for Halloween. I already got his costume and it is so cute! My mom is coming in for his birthday and Halloween again. Hopefully it is not as cold as last year, but I am thinking with the amount of snow we have on the mountains already, we will have snow on the ground within the next two weeks. It is our last winter here so I am sure it will feel extra long and extra cold... It's already dropped down to the 40's during the day and the 30's at night.

I am going to sign off with a few pictures of Liam at the park last weekend, and then I am off the the gym.

BedTime=Bad Time...

2009-09-09T23:16:00.001-04:00

So, is my child the only one who screams like they are dying when you put him to bed? Liam used to be so good when he went to bed, then a few months after he turned one, he started screaming. Like not just crying and whining, SCREAMING, literally like someone is trying to kill him. The only time he does it is bedtime at night. He very rarely does it when it's nap time. I have tried quite a few different things to get him to just lay down and go to sleep quietly, but nothing works. All I have been able to do in order to not lose my mind is ignore him. But, sometimes he screams an hour (on average it's 30 min), so it is harder to ignore him then. Here are some of the things I have tried:

- Night light
- Leaving his door open
- Letting him pick some toys to sleep with
- Rocking him and reading to him for a little bit
- Letting him stay up 30-60 minutes later

I've tried other things too, I just don't remember them all. He gets his sippy cup, his two favorite blankets, and his favorite stuffed animal everynight when he goes to sleep. He also gets a snack and a half hour wind down time of cartoon watching before bed. His bedtime used to be 8:00, but then I tried 8:30 thinking maybe he wasn't tired enough, then I even tried 9:00. All a later bed time accomplished was him screaming until a later hour. It didn't make him scream for a shorter amount of time, he just ends up staying up later. So now he just goes to sleep at 8:30. I try not to go in there becuase I don't want him to think just because he screams I'll come in and see what's wrong.

Another thing is, once he finally goes to sleep, he wakes up about an hour later and screams again. I don't go in there when he does this either, because when I used to, I've noticed that he just gets more worked up when I leave, and it lasts longer. On average, these screams only last about 10-15 minutes. He gets up during the week at 5:30 A.M., which gives him about eight hours of sleep. He takes an hour to two hour nap during the day, but doesn't sleep later than 3:30 at his nap time. He usually stays up a little later on the weekends (so we can all sleep in, lol), and sleeps about 10 hours then, with pretty much the same nap schedule. I don't know if I am doing somehting wrong, or if there is even anything I can do at all. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

How do you know when time out isn't effective?

2009-09-01T13:36:00.003-04:00

When your child puts himself in time out instead of just doing what he's told...

Terrible 2's???

2009-08-24T14:11:00.004-04:00

Now let me start off by saying, Liam has never been a difficult child. From the day he was born, he never cried, never whined, slept wonderfully, ate anything you put in front of him, he wasn't the kind of baby that always needed to be held . In fact he's always been quite independent, very content playing on his own, doing his own thing by himself...

With that being said, I expect him to behave certain ways, to do or not do certain things. Things like not throwing tantrums, doing what he's told, realizing he can't always get what he wants, etc. Typical things you try to teach your child at a young age like that. Some may say at 22 months old, that is a little young to expect anything from your child, but I beg to differ. I know my child; I know his temperament, I know his attitude (and boy is there a lot of that lately), and I know how he behaves (normally). The thing is, Liam has known these things and what is expected of him for quite some time, and is fully capable of doing these things.

Now don't get me wrong, he's still a good kid, and I've definitely seen worse at his age. So if this is "The Terrible 2's" it is probably not a vicious as what other people might be going through. It's just really his attitude that gets me sometimes. The constant "NO!" (His new favorite word) His yelling and whining when he doesn't get his way. (Which is actually kind of funny because you can't understand a single word he says. I'm pretty he's fluent in Japanese, lol) And just not listening. All of this bothers me mostly because I know he's fully capable of behaving the way I expect him to. Keep in mind this isn't like an all day every day thing. He just gets in these moods a few times a day. I swear it's like he's bipolar too, one minute he will be laughing, playing, having a good time, and the next he's pissed and yelling at you.

So here are my questions to everyone...

Is it normal for a child to behave perfectly and do what's expected of them from the age of 12-20 months, then all of a sudden not?
Are these mood swings normal?
Is this "The Terrible 2's?"
Or is the the worst yet to come?

Oh Vacation...

2009-08-13T23:30:00.031-04:00

I love taking vacation. It always makes me so sad to come home at the end of our trips. It's hard not seeing my family on a regular basis, but such is the military life. This year we took a trip to Arkansas to see my grandparents, who have never seen Liam. My sister, mom, and step dad drove down from Illinois too. We spent eight days there then went to Florida to see my dad and step mom, who haven't seen Liam since he was 2 months old. Rather than go into great detail about each leg of our trip, I will just post pictures and caption them with what was going on. I think that will be easier and more to the point and then no one has to read a long winded description from me, lol...

ARKANSAS

Liam attacking everyone with the hose

Liam and Grandpa Don

Great Mary and Liam watching cartoons

My little water baby

Me, Liam buried in the sand, and Aunt Rachel

Grandma, Mom, Me and Rachel after stomping grapes

Liam on the scale at the children's museum

FLORIDA

Grandpa Tony and Liam cleaning the boat

Liam and Grandpa driving the boat

Liam on the beach at night

Me and Liam at the beach

Liam sleeping with his Lily girl

Liam and Dad in the pool

Greg and my Dad went to the Red Sox/Rays game

Grandpa and Liam swimming at the beach

The family at the Sunken Gardens

Liam and Dad

~Liam and Me at the Gardens~

Liam on a bridge at the Gardens

Kisses on the beach, how romantic

Grandpa, Liam , and Dad feeding the pelicans

4th of July Camping Trip

2009-07-14T21:00:00.008-04:00

Here are a few pictures from our annual 4th of July Camping Trip. I had my camera but no memory card, so there isn't much since I had to snag these from Heidi and I don't think she has uploaded them all yet... We had a great time as usual. It's sad that this will be our last Alaskan 4th of July trip, but we are probably going to try and go camping one more time with the crew this year before it gets too cold. Liam had a blast riding on the four wheeler and didn't even mind wearing the helmet... Although his favorite part I would say was playing in the Ranger while it was parked!

Greg four wheeling...

Heidi and Liam...

Liam with his helmet on before we hit the trails...

"I'm ready to go Mom! Let's hit the road!"

Liam playing on the Ranger... (It's really dark I know)
FYI a Ranger is like a golf cart on steroids with a roll bar, seat belts, and off road capabilities...

Happy Father's Day!!!

2009-06-21T20:31:00.009-04:00

So today is Liam and Greg's second Father's day. It's the first one were Liam kinda knew what was going on. Well, he at least knew that he was giving Dada a present, lol... It was so cute when he gave it to him too. Greg was sitting there on the couch playing a video game and Liam walks up carrying a box and says 'Here Dadeeeeee. Here Dadeeeeee!' And then as soon as Greg took it, Liam was trying to rip it open. It was so cute! Greg got a plate for when he BBQ's to put the food on. Around the edge it says, 'My dad can cook better than your dad,' and in the middle there is a little drawing that looks like a child drew it of a guy cooking on a grill. It's too cute.

In honor of Father's Day I thought it would be a good idea to post some pictures of Greg and Liam . I don't have any recent ones because I need to find my camera charger which is packed away somewhere in one of the 100 boxes we have in the garage and my camera is dead.

Daddy holding Liam for the first time.

Daddy getting Liam dressed to finally go home from the hospital.

Liam and Daddy being silly.

Daddy and Liam on the four wheeler.

Daddy and Liam sliding down the ice slide. WEEEEEE!!!

Liam and Daddy in Fairbanks, Alaska.

I'm a good Mom Damn it...

2009-06-14T20:43:00.003-04:00

Ok, so it's been a while, I apologize. Things have been so crazy around here with the big inspection we had at work that is FINALLY over, thank God. Work hours have been long and crazy and working weekends and stuff, but now that it's over I can relax a little. Well, not really because we still have a few things to do to finish up the house. Speaking of which, it is apparent that the deck companies in this town don't want a dime from me. I called around to get a few quotes for refinishing the deck and most people have never called be back to set up a time to come look at it and of the two people who did, I never got the quote emailed to me from one company, regardless of calling for like a week, and so I just said screw it and decided to go with the other one, even though I thought the quote was a bit high, and now that I have accepted the proposal, the damn people won't call me back to let me know when they can come or what the hell is going on! I am SOOOO frustrated with this crap! I just want to burn the damn deck and call it a day...

In other news, Liam had his first visit to the ER a few weeks ago. And this story is the reason for the title of this blog... So it started out as a quiet night. I was reading a book on the couch and Greg was playing a video game. Liam was playing with his toys and all was well, or so I thought... At some point Liam decided he wanted a snack. Instead of asking me or Dad to get him one, he took it upon himself to try. So his snack cabinet is one of the top ones above the counter. Little Monkey decided to pull a kitchen chair over to the counter, climb up and get himself a snack. Well, he pulled the chair over to the opposite end of his snack cabinet so he had to walk the length of the counter to get to the cabinet he desired. Apparently, and this is all speculation because no one was in the room, he was walking along and when he got to the stove he tripped. It looks like he tried to grab the microwave door to stop himself from falling and the door hit him in the forehead. Then he fell off the stove onto the hardwood floor. This is when we became aware of his adventure. So of course he cried and screamed like he was dying. He had a little scratch on his forehead from where the microwave hit it and a little knot on the back of his head from when he fell. Now, none of this concerned me as kids fall and bump their head all the time and it's no big deal. An I know what to look for as far as signs of a concussion so I figure we are good. But no... Liam gets done crying and then decides he needs to groan/wheeze every time he breathes out, like he's in pain. So after 10 minutes of that i call the nurse advice line. She tells me I should probably bring him in. By this time he's acting listless and extremely tired and unlike himself, so I think it's possible he may have a mild concussion anyways, but the breathing is what really got me worried. So, we take him to the ER.

Of course, halfway there Liam is fine. Laughing talking, being a goofball, and breathing fine. But we've committed to going so we still go. So we get there and Greg checks us in and we wait. I take Liam to change his diaper and put him in some pajamas since I don't know how long we will be there. The whole time I am changing him he is screaming like a mad man in the bathroom . Not screaming in pain, but like he's having a blast. I've never seen him so excited to get in his pajamas before in my life. When we get back out he wants to run around and act a fool in the waiting room. We get called back for initial check up from the nurse, weight, temperature, blood pressure, that stuff. As I explain why he is there to the nurse he looks at me like I am about to win the Worst Mother of the Year Award, and asks 'Well, why was he on the stove?' I wanted to slap the shit out of him. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying 'He was making up dinner, Asshole.' Instead I explained how he pulled the chair over and was trying to get a snack. I swear if I wasn't in the military and he wasn't an officer, I would have said it... So after that, we waited for the doctor. Liam was still running around acting a fool when the doctor finally came in so it was obvious he was fine. After a quick check of his head and ribs and telling us things to look for and come back for, he went to go get the discharge paper work. Well, the lovely nurse we had before was the one who brought us the papers. And of course he would look at us and say 'Make sure you keep him off the counter.' I looked at him and snapped, 'It's kind of hard when he can get up there by himself, and as much as you might think it's possible you can't keep your eyes on them all the time,' and then I walked out.

Now it's obvious this guy doesn't have kids, or he would realize that shit happens. Kids climb, they get hurt, such is life. But for him to imply that it is my fault for not watching him 24 hours a day or taking well enough care of him is insulting. And when you are worried about the well being of your child is not the time for someone to be insulting you. He doesn't know me and he doesn't know my son. As much as you think you can watch your kids every second of every day you realize it is impossible. The second you turn your back they are doing something potentially dangerous. It happens. Luckily this time it was a false alarm for us, but it's not going to be our last visit to the emergency room I can tell you that. Hopefully next time we don't get jerk for a nurse.

I care for my son like any good mother would. I feed him right, bathe him, clothe him, put a roof over his head. I take care of him when he's sick. I cuddle him when he first wakes up. I play with him, spend time with him, and take him places to have fun. I make sure he has everything he needs and even a lot of things he doesn't. I discipline him when he needs it and above all, I love him unconditionally. In fact let's rephrase this, I am not a good mother, I am a GREAT Mom...

WORK WORK WORK!!!!

2009-05-22T20:26:00.006-04:00

It seems like all I have been doing lately is working! Between working 10-12 hour days the past 2 1/2 weeks and then working out daily, then coming home and doing housework, yard work, and packing to get ready to put the house on the market, I have been EXHAUSTED! So here it has been almost a month since I have updated this, and yet it seems as if there is nothing to write because I have done nothing exciting worth telling people about. I'll try not to bore anybody with the current happenings and excitement, lol...

Like I said we are getting the house ready to put on the market. Paint, carpet, packing, yard work, etc. It has been very time consuming and tiring. I swear if the grass seed I planted 3 weeks ago doesn't start growing I am going to scream, haha... Wednesday I dug out the flower bed and got it ready for planting and today I got some flowers and put them in. I totally underestimated the size of the flower bed so I need to go back and get some more plants because it looks pretty sad right now with so few flowers in such a big area. With all of this yard work though, it has given Liam a lot of time to play outside, and boy does he love it! He just struts around the yard like Christopher Columbus exploring everything. I haven't been in Home Depot more times in my entire life than I have these past two weeks. Put damn are those guys great! You can walk in there hardly knowing what you are talking about or not have the faintest idea of what you actually need for whatever project you are working on and yet you will walk out of the store with a perfect understanding of how to do anything and the exact things you'll need to do it! It's amazing really. I am practically a painter, plumber, landscaper, and carpenter after just a few days in Home Depot, lol...

In other Liam news, the underwear thing was SOOOOO not a great idea! After pooping in them and peeing twice I nixed that. I would ask him every 15 minutes or so if he had to go potty and he knows what that means so when he told me no I figured he didn't. Well I guess I learned not to take a toddler's word for those kind of things! He hasn't really changed much in the potty going department. Just the occasional letting me know and actually going. He's young though, I have time, lol. For more potty news, I thought I'd share the excitement hat happened when Liam was taking bath the other day... Yep you guessed it; he pooed in the bath tub. He then proceeded to tell me ' I sh**' and there it was floating in the tub in all its glory. Yep time to start watching my mouth around him, lol... I didn't know whether to laugh or gag about that escapade.

Well, it's been a long day and it's almost time for Liam to hit the sack (he's getting cranky and whiny), so I am going to get him ready for bed and relax for a bit, maybe read a little before I head to bed too. I've included a few pictures of Liam playing outside for your enjoyment. Good night!

Bad Mouth Mommy out!

Pitter Patter of Not So Little Feet

2009-04-29T23:44:00.004-04:00

Well, my Monkey is officially 18 months old as of Sunday... He has grown up so fast and what were once tiny little feet are now a size 5 1/2! Granted there has never really been anything tiny about him considering he was 8 lbs 14 oz and 22 inches long at birth. He only fit in newborn sized clothing the first week he was born, and then it was on to 0-3 month. He is currently in 24 months or 2T at 18 months old. He has always been way ahead of the label on his clothing and now it seems as if he might finally be slowing down. I mean, I can't imagine him being 2 years old in 3T clothes!

He has been talking SOOOOO much lately! He used to talk what I thought was a good amount for his age, but he would never say anything you asked him to. Now he will repeat things, which is exciting. Just as long as he isn't repeating bad words, lol... Liam has also discovered the joyfulness of playing outside. Now that the weather has been in the 50's the past week and even into the 60's these past two days, it has been almost impossible to keep him inside. He is constantly opening the back door, despite the lock, grabbing a few toys and venturing out into the back yard. My only qualms about this is the fact that we have a deck with about eight stairs that I just know he will end up falling down or more likely being pushed down by the dogs. He is good with the stairs inside, but there also aren't two 90+ lb dogs rushing up and down them constantly.

So another new thing Liam has discovered is biting. I don't know where he got it from, but I guess it's probably something all kids go through at some point. Today he made the mistake of biting his babysitters 4 year old son, who then proceeded to punch him in the face! So he has a little mark under his eye where he got hit. Serves him right I say. Maybe he learned his lesson, and if not I guess he will be coming home with more bruises. Unless he just sticks to biting the babysitters youngest daughter, who just cries and doesn't retaliate.

So today we also made a break through in the potty training fiasco. He came up to me and said "Ma I poo." I checked him and he hadn't gone yet so I asked him if he had to go and he nodded and ran to the bathroom. This is definitely a step up from him just going into the bathroom by himself, standing next to the toilet, and pooping in his Pull-up. I can't wait until he is out of diapers. I got him some big boy underwear so we will probably try them out this weekend.

Well it is officially past Liam's bedtime and we still have to have a snack and watch some cartoons so I better get of of here. Good night!

A Day With My Monkey

2009-04-17T23:10:00.010-04:00

Well, today Liam decided 5 A.M. was a great time to get up for the day. ON MY DAY OFF! We don't even get up that early when I do have to work! Greg brought him in our bed to see if he would go back to sleep. No dice... About 5:30 I turned on some cartoons for him and he laid there watching them for a while. Greg got up at 6 and brought him down some cheerios and juice. I dozed off and on for a little while and I think about 7 Liam finally fell back asleep and we got up at 9:30. Oh, and there are cheerios ALL OVER my bed. That wasn't such a great idea, lol...

Liam was very good at Barnes and Noble this time, so he was able to get the Wonder Pets dolls he wanted. We went to Fred Meyer and picked up a few groceries. We also picked up Liam a raincoat. With break up season upon us here in the great state of Alaska, the rain is right around the corner. He even picked it out himself. He had a choice of blue, green, yellow, and black, and he said 'geen' lol...

After we got home I took him outside to play just as promised. He was more interested in just holding the chalk than doing anything with it though. It's weird though because he plays with it outside at the babysitters house, but maybe that's because her kids are playing with him?!? I tried drawing with him and he still wasn't very interested. So I just let him do what he wanted to do. Which was, yell at people and cars as they went by, and climb up and down the step. Oh and when he did decide to use the chalk, it was on my carpet and door frame, lol...

Let's Get Started...

2009-04-17T00:17:00.004-04:00

Well, I have had this account open for a while. Got the idea from a few friends, thought it was great so signed up. I have been having some trouble getting my page to look how I want it to. It's been frustrating and I pretty much gave up. It looks ok, but not how I had hoped. Maybe at a later date I will try again, but it took so long for me to even get it halfway decent looking that I'm just going to leave it for now, lol...

Anyways, the reason I started this is for the same reason my friends did, to keep everyone updated on our lives happenings without have to update 17 people, 3 websites, 10 emails, etc... This way it's all in one place and everyone will know where to find it!

So let's see, what been going on in my life? Well, we are trying the potty training thing slowly but surely with Liam. That's the big excitement in our lives right now, lol. I got him this book called Liam Goes Poo in the Toilet and he loves it. He just cracks up whenever we read his name. It's so cute! He has been going potty pretty well. I'm not forcing him, but he loves to try. He hasn't really gotten to the point where he will tell me if he has to go yet, I just ask him on occasion and he runs in the bathroom whether he has to go or not. Or if I see him doing his 'poo face' I run him in there. He's pretty good about it, as good as you can expect a 17 month old to be I guess, lol... He wakes up in the morning pretty often with a dry diaper so I put him on first thing and he usually goes then. Tonight he actually went in there by himself and put his training seat on the toilet and so I went in there to help him and he actually went! I was so proud. *tear* So I think he's getting the concept. And he always gets a Sweet Tart when he goes as a little reward.

In other news, our anniversary is Sunday. Six years! Six LOOOOONG years, lol j/k... We already exchanged gifts because I needed mine, lol. Greg bought me a Cricut machine. If you don't know what that is, it's basically a little computer for scrapbooking where you can type things in, and load any kind of paper and it will cut the picture, or text or whatever out for you. It can be all sorts of different sizes and stuff. It's pretty neat. I "needed" it because I was making Liam's one year baby book, lol. The book turned out super cute too! I can't believe how big My Little Monkey has gotten! Almost 18 months old, where did the time go? Sorry off subject... I got Greg a new softball glove and I gave it to him early just because I got my gift early. He picked it out so it wasn't like it was a surprise anyway. I was going to do the traditional six year gift of iron for Greg and get him a new set of golf irons, I thought that was pretty clever lol, but he said he would rather have the glove over anything so that's what he got.

Tomorrow I have the day off and Liam and I are spending it together. If it is nice out we are going to draw outside with chalk and blow bubbles. We also need to go to the grocery store for a few things and Barnes and Noble because Mommywood came out Tuesday, lol. Yes I am a Tori Spelling fan, I can't help it lol! Maybe if Liam is good this time, he can get the Wonder Pets doll he wanted last time. He was VERRRRY bad last time we went there so I told him no turtle and made him put it back! It was so sad, lol... But I did buy him a SpongeBob and a Wonder Pets book.

Well, I think I have reached my limit of blogging for the evening. I will try to keep this updated as often as possible. It's not always easy to get 20-30 minutes to sit down and do things like this with a toddler running around creating havoc in his wake! Good night!